In terms of forgiveness, do we punish ourselves and others longer than what we should? Could the absence of genuine forgiving be the root to our own unhappiness? Can the lack of a forgiving heart block our own blessings? To answer my own questions that I had been pondering for the last week, the response I’ve acquired was “yes.”

“The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside us while we live”-Norman Cousins

Let me explain: I’ve learned over these past couple months that I had the ability to harbor over failed promises, miscommunication amongst past lovers, and the fixed-mindset that people had to believe and think exactly like me. If they didn’t, I couldn’t dare be around them or relate to much of what they believed in. What I soon learned was that the way I had been thinking was completely absurd. I shortly realized that I had become a prisoner to my own fixed beliefs, but it also had me preaching the “word” but not living it.

“We all make mistakes, don’t we? But if you can’t forgive yourself, you’ll be an exile in your own life.”-Curtis Sittenfeld

Honestly, I knew of forgiveness but I was not applying it to my life. I held a gun to my forgiveness, robbing it of any possibility to be free. So I made the cruel decision to hold it up for ransom. Meanwhile, my anger and sadness lashed out into other areas of my life and it showed. Perhaps I had probable cause not to forgive but holding onto the pain– I couldn’t dear justify it.  The act of feeling betrayed haunted my forgiveness. Wholeheartedly I believed that forgiving was an open invitation to promote myself or others to hurt me again and again.

“I never knew how strong I was until I had to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and accept an apology I’ll never receive.”-Unknown

As people, do we show up in our present still recovering from the battle wounds of our past?  Do we hope are present will cure our past? (Maybe I had been doing that all along.)  I thought the hurt from my past wounds weren’t transparent. But, all the red signs pushed me to cease and evaluate….. “I needed inner forgiveness.”  My forgiveness had been so backed up that I still was harboring over old circumstances that had already come and gone.

In terms of forgiveness, we must forgive! Why? Our very happiness depends on it. If we don’t forgive we can demonstrate ourselves as a Negative-Nancy; a-person whose negative behavior is stagnated by their past.

It is easy to be negative and unforgiving.

Do you have what it takes?

To do the hard work,

to dig deep and…

forgive for your own sanity.

Do you?

I know who I am, but I longed for the person, the woman, I wanted to manifest into. This person is someone who listened more urgently and judged a little less.

How do we demonstrate forgiveness?

Forgiving takes change and time. For me, the first step to forgiveness was acknowledging that I needed to forgive myself for promoting negative behavior and toxic thinking. Forgiveness won’t always happen immediately, forgiveness is a process over time. The forgiving journey is a conscious one that only you can explore. Perhaps the love we all wanted was something are present self couldn’t frequently supply. In terms of forgiveness, did we forget to take necessary time to mediate on loving ourselves more?

FORGIVENESS may be uncomfortable or foreign but it was the right-turn into relieving pain and building happiness. I hope we all choose forgiveness because hate takes way to much energy. Love is much easier.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and realize the prisoner was you.”

  • *walks into building, looks around*

    Alia, I love what you’ve done with the place! The layout of your site is user-friendly and clean!

    Great piece here. We have to forgive, because failing to do so prevents us from living in the present. Dwelling on the past can really have a hold on people. One of my favorite quotes on this came from a battle rapper, named Math Hoffa. In an interview, I heard him say “there is a reason your windshield is bigger than your rearview mirror. We have to look forward”.

    Nice work ☺

    • AliaRonnell

      Darryl your comments are like a breath of fresh air.Thank you. I agree to some extent. While I do think the past is the past. Sometimes re-visiting the past isn’t always a bad thing. Depending on your motives.

  • I love this! Everyone needs to read this! Because the majority of people need to know that forgives start with them! Great post!

    • AliaRonnell

      Thank You Guenael 🙂

  • This is great!! A beautiful read! 🙂

    • AliaRonnell

      Thank you beautiful

  • Jen

    I love this post babe, I think forgiveness is important to be in peace with yourself and not for someone else ♥

    • AliaRonnell

      Hey Jen. Glad you liked this post! xo

  • Again, beautiful piece! I struggled with forgiving someone who hurt me and it caused me much more pain than it ever caused them. I learned exactly what you quoted – that I was my own prisoner. Such a beautiful message!

    • AliaRonnell

      Isn’t that a horrible place to be in? So happy you found this insightful!